The Unity We Seek

A few years ago, someone asked me to pray urgently for the unity of a group of Christians with a prayer mandate, who were bickering all the time. I looked into scripture for an appropriate verse to pray with and zeroed in on Ephesians 4:3. My interpretation at that time was that each member of a group must receive and abide in that supernatural peace of Christ in other for the group to interact in peace. So the goal at the time was to pray for individual peace.
I thank God for growth in the spirit and the accompanying gift of understanding and revelation. Here is my current understanding of how to dwell in peace in a group or family setting:

Eph. 4:2-3 With all lowliness and meekness, with long-suffering, forbearing one another in love; Endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace

UNITY in the Spirit depends on the bonds of PEACE binding a group of people together:

PEACE depends on individual HUMILITY;

HUMILITY is manifested as dwelling less on oneself (ego and emotions) and leads to: Patience with others and self -not being easily provoked or provocative; avoidance of resentment; bearing the weaknesses of others out of love for God instead of creating distance; making the best of others.
There it is: THERE IS NO UNITY IN THE SPIRIT IN ANY GROUP OF PEOPLE, WITHOUT THE PEACE THAT COMES FROM INDIVIDUAL HUMILITY. It makes sense that when I manifest the fruits of humility described above, I am more likely to be at peace with others.
It also follows that there is a unity that is not in the spirit. This is the default superficial unity we have in most human groups that present as a united front while the members are feeding their individual egos with thoughts of how to be ahead of the pack or how they are better than the other members of the pack. Wherever you have people who compete against each other, albeit secretly, there can be no true peace, therefore no true unity. Individual pride is the root cause of the resentment that is often secretly breeding in these groups and the cracks are always evident in the façade.
Saint Paul’s use of the word Endeavoring indicates an understanding of how difficult developing the attributes of humility can be, even for Christians. It is a struggle because pride is the default attribute of the flesh. May the redeeming and enabling grace of God help us to develop true humility, find true peace and thus maintain the unity of the Holy Spirit in our families and ministries. Amen.

And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand – Mark 3:25