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Yesterday, I wrote about Life-giving friends and touched briefly on Life-sucking friends.Lent Day 26: Life-Giving Friends. I mentioned that one should set boundaries for the latter group, while still keeping in mind that one could be needed for God’s purpose in their lives; in which case they would be thorns given to us by The Potter to mold us into a desired shape.
I have thought some more about this and wondered, how do we strike this balance? How do we decide whether self-preservation should be the way to go or not? That preserving our sanity in a particular relationship would be what God wants for us? How can we tell if we are following the Spirit’s guidance or just following our human inclination to stay away from those who bother our peace of mind?
The answer as always is in God’s Word. I have read somewhere that when Jesus asked us to cut off our body appendages that cause us to stumble rather than go to hell, whole-bodied, this is what He meant. Cutting off any attachment we have that can lead us down the wrong road. As we continue to remind ourselves, we are pilgrims on earth with a destination in mind. The goal of reaching that destination should be our #1 priority in life.
In that case, if any of our relationships are making us take side turns off the path to our destination, we can be certain that God does not want us to stay engaged in that relationship. We need a mental separation from that person so we can focus on our chosen destination. A mental separation implies that while we may go on having that person in our life in some form or shape, we take a deliberate stand against falling under their influence by staying alert and wary during our interactions with them. Any side-road off the path to our declared destination is a road to perdition.
What we may then find is that most of our life-sucking friends/associates/relatives do not actually fall under this category. They may be selfishly wrapped up in their own worlds; they may be grumblers and complainers; they may be materialistic and greedy people, and a whole host of other qualities; but they are not necessarily leading us down the road to perdition.
It then falls upon us to manage these relationships with wisdom and to ask God for a heart that can accommodate traits we are not fond of better. In doing so, we are asking God to change us and make us more Christ-like. Jesus, by associating and showing love for tax-collectors and prostitutes, people whose lifestyles were clearly opposite to everything He stood for, showed us how to have a large heart for those who tend to drive us nuts. It is amazing how prayer can change us and give us a heart like that of Jesus.
For those that we choose to separate from mentally because of the possibility that they might influence us, we should endeavor to keep them close in prayer. Jesus died for All and He does not want to lose anybody. He counts on us to help Him look for the lost sheep and bring it back. They are in our lives for a reason. If they have gone far down that dangerous side-turn, we as their friends and relatives are obliged to intercede for them continually.
Oswald Chamber writes: If you are not getting the hundredfold more, not getting insight into God’s word, then start praying for your friends, enter into the ministry of the interior. “The Lord turned the captivity of Jacob when he prayed for his friends.” The real business of your life as a saved soul is intercessory prayer. Wherever God puts you in circumstances, pray immediately, pray that His Atonement may be realized in other lives as it has been in yours. Pray for your friends now; pray for those whom you come in contact now.
He also writes: If we are not heedful of the way the Spirit of God works in us, we will become spiritual hypocrites. We see where other folks are failing, and we turn our discernment into the gibe of criticism instead of into intercession on their behalf. One of the subtlest burdens God ever puts on us as saints is this burden of discernment concerning other souls. He reveals things so that we may take the burden of these souls before Him and form the mind of Christ about them, and as we intercede on His line, God says He will give us “life for them that sin not unto death.”
If you see any brother or sister commit a sin that does not lead to death, you should pray and God will give them life. I refer to those whose sin does not lead to death – 1 John 5:16
Hilltop Thoughts, Valley Strengths 