Lent Day 4: Loving my Neighbor – A Personal Tale of Growth

A few years ago, when I internalized the concept that loving my neighbor was an action phrase based on obedience to God’s word which did not have to be related to how I felt about the neighbor, I was elated. It was going to be much easier, I thought. I don’t have to really like that associate, family member or frenemy in order to be charitable or demonstrate Christian love towards them! I could ‘love’ them as Jesus commanded without actually liking them or enjoying their company. I would just do whatever I felt led to do and know that I had obeyed God. It felt like eating my cake and having it at the same time…

Those who know me well know that I am not good at pretending to be what I am not. Authenticity matters to me a lot, and it is the one defining characteristic of the people I enjoy spending time with, be they friends or total strangers. I find it easy to connect with anyone who is comfortable in their own skin, who is not pretending to be what they are not, even if ‘what they really are’ is not the most desirable trait. At least, they are being honest with themselves and I don’t have to spend time trying to decipher them.

Anyway, I digress. As I noted, my relief was huge. This realization was bolstered by the scriptural notion that God accepts all kinds of personalities and only longs for us to have a sincere, continual desire to grow spiritually in love and knowledge of Him, and in service for His kingdom. So I set aside my emotions and daily endeavored to accommodate anyone that came my way in agape love. I could be nice to anyone as long as I did not have to be forced to hang out with them in my personal down time – no, that was for people that I really liked, people that I really enjoyed their company.

What I did not bargain for was the inexplicable way the Spirit works once it finds an obedient heart. I guess this is why scripture says obedience is better than sacrifice. Because one can be the most knowledgeable, prayerful and  hard-working disciple, but if the heart is hardened and has taken a stance against any of God’s precepts, the Spirit cannot be fully productive in that person. As I began to exercise charitable thoughts and actions even when I did not feel like doing so, my opinions (or should I say presumptions) about those I was interacting with began to change. God was changing me and broadening my mind to accept anyone that was acceptable to Him.

Now with Divine Grace, I have come to stop seeing those who feel a need to portray a different persona than what they really are as being artificial or even superficial; instead I now tend to have sympathy for them and often privately ponder about what in their background could have caused them to become the way they are now. It cannot be an easy choice to decide to hide your true self while interacting with others. Past or present pains and scars are often crouched under personality masks. Often I just pray that they discover the full friendship of the Holy Spirit; it releases people from their fears, heals broken lives and gives them the supreme confidence that allows them to be their natural selves – fearfully and wonderfully made, in all stripes and shapes.

With Grace, I can now serve a frenemy or an enemy in Christian love. I trust that God has my back as long as I am obeying Him. Scripture says when we love our enemies, we are actually heaping burning coals on them. My personal experience has shown me that God takes care of my enemies, but only if I leave the vengeance to Him and stop my dim-witted dreams and plots of revenge. Human vengeance is a pre-Jesus Christ principle; forgiveness and leaving God to avenge on our behalf is a gospel principle. I dare not even rejoice in news of justice served on my foes like King David did in some of his psalms, it is not in my place to do so – lest God turns His anger on me given my own full bag of short-comings (Prov. 24:17-20). Instead, I have sometimes felt sorry for those who tried to trip me up and prayed for them even as God deals with them. Suffice to say that I am in awe of God’s wrath, and have made it my life principle to constantly strive to only please God.

What I have also discovered is that God could need my obedience for a greater unseen purpose like saving another person’s soul. We are all called to proclaim the gospel but cannot all be evangelists or ministers. Sometimes all God needs from us is the obedience to be charitable to someone we would rather not be kind to. This show of Christian love could pave the way for that person to open up to God’s redeeming grace; and it takes on a greater significance when the recipient knows that they do not deserve any charity from us because of what they have done to us or said about us in the past. The Gospel story of the hated tax-collector, Zacchaeus and the resulting change of his heart and behavior after Jesus showed him love, comes readily to mind.

May we never find ourselves in a situation where our carelessness or direct refusal to be charitable to someone we feel does not deserve an act of love from us causes that person to lose the opportunity to experience God’s saving grace.  One can only imagine that we will answer for every soul that Christ placed in our path, and designed for us to be used to save that person; and yet we did not heed the call. This is what being an Ambassador of Christ is about;  a representative, a carrier of His mercy, obeying marching orders from the Head of the Kingdom without any consideration of the cost to oneself.

‘Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good’ – Romans 12:9-10

‘Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the Lord, and He will avenge you.’ Prov. 20:22

Thank you for reading today’s piece. As always, your thoughts and comments in the space below will be greatly appreciated.